Bimbola and Demola were madly in love. They could be described as the perfect match. The only thing their close friends were waiting for was for Demola to propose. To their close friends and everyone around them, they were the perfect couple. In fact, their friends even created a hashtag in anticipation of their wedding.
But alas Demola told her he had found love elsewhere when she thought he was going to finally proposed. She was shattered. She blamed herself and also thought of how she will start her life all over with another man. She began to wallow in self-pity and checked her phone every 30 minutes hoping Demola will text or call, begging to start fresh. Even when their close friends heard of their separation, they were devastated.
Are you in this boat as well? Whether you’re the one who was left heartbroken or the one who ended the relationship, breaking up is hard to do. Breakup is very painful especially when you are deeply in love with that person and moving on isn’t any easier.
No matter how painful that heartbreak maybe, you should avoid doing these 10 things to hasten your healing process and move on with your life in the New Year.
Stop blaming yourself
No matter who ended the relationship and for whatever reason, you should stop blaming yourself for what you should have done right or what you did wrong. Instead, be kind to yourself and use it as a time to practice self-love. Blaming yourself will only make the recovery process harder. So, make peace with what happened and focus on the future instead of the past.
It hurts but don’t avoid the pain
To get over a breakup, you may try to avoid your hurt and pain because it’s just too shattering. But you will not recover when you avoid it. The only way to heal is to go through the pain. So, cry if you have to, scream if that is what will make you feel better but don’t just avoid the pain.
Don’t start a new relationship immediately
You should not jump right into a new relationship immediately after a breakup. After a painful breakup, being single for a while is the best way to ensure that your next relationship is not spontaneous, and headed for a repeat breakup. So, date only when you’re ready and not just the next person you run into.
Don’t stalk your ex on social media
This can be really difficult and tempting but instead of focusing on what is happening in your ex’s life, use that time toward improving your own life. If you want to heal fast, you should unfollow or block them on Facebook, Instagram, mute them on Twitter, and untag any photos of the two of you together. It’s pretty hard to get over something if you have access to them.
Don’t let it affect your social life
A breakup is not the end of the world so don’t allow it to affect your social life. You should go out with family members, close friends and connect with people as they will help you heal, and remind you that you still have people who care and love you.
Don’t stay in touch with your ex
It may be difficult but doable. Try not to stay in touch with your ex especially via calls, chats or text to get over him or her faster. Chances are that you will gradually get over them.
Don’t keep mementos
The thought of your ex can be painful, so don’t keep anything that will remind you of them. Completely destroy or remove mementos that will cause more hurt and emotional distress for you.
Don’t lose hope
You may be heartbroken but don’t lose hope that you will never find someone else. Get rid of that negative thought and recognize that your breakup in no way means that you are destined to be alone forever. Instead, use the breakup as an opportunity to figure out exactly what you want in your next relationship as you look forward to a better and love-filled relationship with someone new in the future.
Don’t even ask mutual friends about them
Don’t spend your precious time asking your mutual friends about your ex. Don’t waste any more time thinking about what their life might be like now without you. Instead, focus on yourself alone and do things that make you happy.
Avoid hooking up with your ex
Avoid hooking up with your ex whenever he or she feels like seeing you. While it may be fun and unforgettable, it will hamper your recovery process. Don’t keep meeting up in the hopes of finding the closure that you may or may not eventually get.