Domestic Violence Became A lifestyle, Until I Decided No More

I was motivated by my best friend, Dora to come out and tell my story so that other women who are being abused and battered either by their husband or boyfriends would learn from my story and not just die in silence.

You can say that I am privileged to tell my story because I am still alive. What about women who could not tell theirs because they are six feet below the ground. What women pass through all for the sake of protecting their marriage and children is enormous. However, here is my story.

Bernard came home at 11:00 pm that Friday evening drunk and reeking of alcohol. I have never seen him in that state in the three years of our marriage. I collected his suit and helped me into the bedroom, lay him on the bed like a baby, undressed him and tucked him under the duvet to sleep. I even had to stay up for some time in case he wakes and may need anything.

When he woke up in the morning, I asked him why he came home drunk and he softly said he went to his friend’s bachelor’s eve. “Well, if I had told you that I was going to such an event, knowing the kind of person you are, you would have discouraged me from going. Darling I am sorry. Please forgive me,” he apologized and begged me to prepared breakfast for him which I did.

We went for his best friend’s wedding that Saturday and there, some of their friends who came in from the United States were all over me asking how I cope with him. Well, I didn’t not quite get what they were driving at but Bernard got infuriated and ordered that we leave immediately.

Throughout our drive home from the wedding, he ruined abuses on me and called me all sorts of demeaning names. He accused me of liking his friends, therefore called me a prostitute. “I am not sure if this pregnancy is even mine. See how you were smiling with my friends in my presence, you shameless woman.” I was speechless. Our two year old son was even trying to play with him, he pushed him away in anger and the innocent child started crying and he wasn’t even bothered. I too started shedding tears for myself and my son.

I thought I knew my husband but it was obvious that he has been pretending to be a loving, understanding and caring husband and father. He showed me the beast that he was and also became unnecessarily jealous and insecure.

Even after we got home, he kept on insulting and raining abuses on me but I didn’t utter a word because this his ‘new’ attitude was totally strange to me. I just took my son to his room and remained there. Around 5:30 pm, I came out to the sitting room to watch one of my favourite programmes. The at about 6:00 pm, he came to the sitting, picked up the remote and changed the channel and held on to the remote control. I sensed trouble so I quietly got up to leave the sitting room for him but he shouted at home. “Where are you going to? Will you come back here and sit down?” I told him I needed to check on our son, but, Bernard told me I was lying.

He got up, pulled me by my hair, slapped and pushed me to the floor. I felt a sharp pain in my stomach. It was so unbearable that I laid there and crying. Suddenly, there was a knock on the door, he opened the door and it was Dora my best friend. Immediately she walked in and saw me laying on the floor, she rushed to me and asked, “What is the matter Glory? What are you doing on the floor?” she asked. I lied to her that I missed my step and fell. “Please I am in serious pains. Take me to the hospital I don’t want to loose me baby. I need medical attention.” So, they both took me to the hospital where I spent five days.

The first time Bernard ever hit me, I was five months pregnant with our second child. That slap and push was the beginning of many others that followed. From a pull, slap and push, it degenerated to beating, punching and kicking some times.

To be continued.