How Do I Tell My Boyfriend I’m Finally Breaking Up With Him?

Dear Angie,

I have been in a relationship with my friend for the past five years. It has been a beautiful and romantic relationship until eight months ago when he started suspecting me of cheating on him.

Our problem started when his cousin lied to him that I was cheating on him. Meanwhile, this cousin of his has been making love advances at me but I never gave in. He expressed how better he will take care of me and meet all my needs as he is richer and more comfortable than my boyfriend. But I kept turning him down as I made it clear to him that I love my boyfriend.

I could still remember one evening when I went over to his place, he took my phone, went through my text and WhatsApp messages. When I asked him why he was doing that, I was shocked when he asked me for the name of the man I was cheating on him with. I begged him to stop it if it was a joke. But what I got was a slap on my face instead. He threw the phone at me and then asked me to leave his house unless I was ready to tell him the truth. I stressed that I wasn’t cheating on him but he became violent and pushed me out of his apartment.

After a few days, he called and apologized. He said he cannot live without me. He pleaded with me to come over to his place and I gladly did. To my surprise, he brought up the issue again. I assured him that he was the only man in my life. He then opened up that his cousin told him I have been cheating on him as he has seen me with different men at various places. It was then I knew that his cousin is the mastermind of the problem.

I then told him about how his cousin has been making love advances at me whenever he was not around. He chuckled, and then gave me a slap for lying against his cousin who has exposed my truth. I maintained that his cousin lied to him. Tired of the false accusation and lack of trust, I told him I was done with the relationship. I broke up with him even though it wasn’t want I wanted.

A few days later, he called and apologized. He pleaded that he cannot live without me and would die if I truly broke up with him. I tried reasoning with him to forget about me and move on with his life but he started crying like a baby.

The thing is that both of our families know about our relationship and they want us to get married. When I told them about my decision to break up with him, they simply ignored me stating that the issue is a mere misunderstanding that can be handled. They pleaded with me to forgive him. I have forgiven him but I have made up my mind not to continue with the relationship.

Honestly, I cannot marry a man who does not trust me and also abuses me irrespective of our families being involved.

I don’t know how best to finally break up with him and put an end to this relationship so that both families will know that I’m serious before I’m forced into a marriage I will regret for the rest of my life. Please I need advice.