I cheated on my husband and I’m not blaming the devil. I have been married for five years and blessed with a beautiful daughter. She’s my pride and joy.
If I must be honest, the first three years of my marriage was blissful and full of love. We were not just the best of friends; we had a unique bond and connection that anyone who saw us together concluded that we were made for each. We did not only enjoy each other’s company, but we also understood each other’s needs even without saying a word. To crown it all, we talked about everything on a daily basis.
However, in the last two years, my marriage has been shaky, the strings holding it had been weakening the more. My husband became a changed man after he returned from one of his official trips. He no longer talked, touched or even spent time with me. I became a lonely and unhappy woman. I tried all I could to make him open up to me but all my efforts were futile. What has kept me going and cheerful in the marriage is my beautiful daughter.
Recently, I ran into a friend and former colleague in The Mall. We got talking and he drove me home. I couldn’t have said no even if I wanted, it was so hot. I invited him into the house as we talked and talked. However, I cannot explain when and how it happened but we found ourselves on the bed in the visitor’s room. Minutes later, my husband walked in. I was dazed.
My husband did not say a word or became violent when he caught us in the act. He just quietly shut the door and walked away. I know no matter the challenges in our marriage, my husband felt betrayed but heartbroken? I don’t think so.
It’s been three months and my husband still has not said anything. His silence is killing me slowly. Anytime I try to talk about the incident, he changes the topic or pretends to be engrossed in something important.
I don’t know what is on his mind and I am dying to know. We sleep on the same bed, he still eats my food and behaves normally and that is the scary part. I’m scared to close my eyes at night as I fear that he may hurt me. The only time I get to sleep is when he is not at home or when I sleep with my daughter in her room.
I love and adore my husband, but for almost two years he has not met some of my fundamental needs especially my sexually need. I guess that was why I ‘unintentionally’ cheated on him. But that’s not an excuse, I should have controlled myself.
The truth is that if I had the intention of sleeping with any other man, definitely not inside my matrimonial home. But who will understand that it happened in my moment of weakness?
What should I do? Should I just walk out of the marriage for the sake of my sanity? I need your help.