Going through a divorce is neither easy nor pleasant, but it’s sometimes the only thing you can do. Making this move is usually the last step people who want to save their relationship make, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes, you can be blindsided and surprised by your partner, and that’s never a good thing. So, if your husband suddenly asks for a divorce, what are some of the things you can do?
Try to understand the reasons
When it comes to divorces, different people have different opinions, and the first thing you need to do is understand why this happens. Some of the most common reasons why marriages collapse include infidelity, abusiveness, jealousy, and attraction towards someone else other than your spouse. Of course, these don’t have to be the reasons your husband has, but whatever it is, you need to try to at least understand his decision. Whether you agree with it or not – and you probably won’t –isn’t as important, but you need to know what’s going on and what led to this move on his part.
Avoid bad reactions
There are lots of ways you can react to this news, and these range from anger and going wild to begging and nagging. However, none of these reactions is exactly good and healthy, so you need to make sure you avoid them as hard as you can. Acting out and losing your mind won’t do you any good, and you should act differently instead – respect yourself, stay calm and don’t get vengeful and desperate.
Get a lawyer
Unfortunately, there’s very little you can do in case your husband is determined he wants a divorce. What you should, however, do is get prepared for a battle – no matter how nasty that sounds, divorce really is a battle. And the best way to win this battle is to have good allies, which is why you need to get a great lawyer. Whether it’s a family or a divorce lawyer, these people will represent you in court and speak on your behalf. So, look for the finest lawyer you can afford, and you won’t have to worry about anything else. Luckily, amazing lawyers are easy to find nowadays wherever you are, from persuasive divorce lawyers in the USA to amazing family lawyers in Sydney, so start looking for them asap!
Take some time off
This sounds like the least effective thing to do in this situation, but it’s definitely something that can do wonders for your mental health. Taking some time off and dedicating your energy to yourself for a change will help you regain control of your life, which is something you’re going to need after facing this difficult situation. Go away for a weekend, tell your colleagues you need to rest for a few days, talk to the people you love and whose opinion you value, and, above all, try to stay calm. Do all the things that suit you and what cools you down, and you’re going to feel much better after a while.
Reshape the narrative
Being happily married is one thing, but thinking that even though that’s not true is something completely different. Lots of people believe that their partners love them and would never want to get a divorce, even though the situation is far away from that. That’s why they’re so surprised after they learn that their husband wants a divorce. So, what you need to do then is start reshaping the narrative and figuring things out in another way. Instead of thinking you were happy and surrounded by love, you should reevaluate your life and your marriage. Think about the things that didn’t work for you and the things you tolerated even though you shouldn’t have, and might understand that you weren’t as happy as you thought you were. This will help you go on with your life and redefine you who you really are.
Facing a divorce is never easy, but this could actually be the best thing that has ever happened to you. Don’t forget that a good divorce is much better than a bad marriage, especially if there are kids involved. That’s why this is the new beginning in your life and something that could actually turn out to be positive in more ways than one.